and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
