I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
