I cannot find my penis.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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