Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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