Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
