ya dads aren't the best wingmen
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
