That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
