what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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