i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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