i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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