The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
