Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
