I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
