Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
