super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
