my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Come share oat with me in your robe
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
