week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
