That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
