There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
