You just made me feel so damn special
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
