that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
