Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
