The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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