why didn't you poke me back
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
