I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
