Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
