if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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