Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
