Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
