and i looked up. we had an audience...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
