I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just come out here and I will go home with you...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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