So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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