i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
