Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize