Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
