Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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