yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
