Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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