That's when you crack a 10am beer
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
