Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
