Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
