Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
