arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
