I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
