I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
