Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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