Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
