Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
