I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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