Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
