Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
