There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
