the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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