And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
this beer tastes like vomit already
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
