Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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