Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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