oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
