I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
