Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
