Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
