so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
