Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
