Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Im part way to drunk.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize